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Just me talking

So I have had a bit of an odd week so this post is going to be a bit different than others. I have felt really emotional and my heads been everywhere so this is going to be me writing a story or telling you a memory, it's just me writing my feelings at this time. I don't know what it is but my emotions always go more crazy this time of the year.

I know that the picture is for winter solstice and that this time of there year things are normally meant to be happy, but for a lot of people it is tough and it cause stress. I am no different, although I don't celebrated the same as a lot of people will with presents so I don't have that stress of what do I buy any loved ones or even having the money. I celebrate with a lot of food and drinks so there is that to think about because I worry if I will have enough or I will cook it right because I still cook over a open fire so it all tastes and looks different. That those isn't the reason that I am emotional and stressed out this time of year and I sure know those types of things isn't really the full story behind why people have a bad time it's part of off it don't get me wrong. We can all let these things get on top of us from time to the and especially this time of year however as I know for me that the real reason that this time of year is bad is, it is missing lost loved ones. I have lived a exceptionally long time and have lost a lot of loved ones in that time. It's always around this time of year I remember them most, I remember the memories that are we made everyone was always in great spirits and there was always someone beating drums. Food and drink was flowing as everything that would keep while being stored to get through to the winter had to be eaten before it spoiled. Fires were kept burning for light and warmth. I remember how everyone pulled together and the whole village would work together, the more we worked together the better chance we would have of surviving the winter months. It hurt me that things are no longer like that, don't get me wrong I know that there are still people that will help others and be kind to each other, but there isn't enough of that togetherness. I am not saying that there wasn't problems within the village were I grew up because there was but they were different. Seeing so many people going through hard times and struggling so much is difficult, we should all be coming together. I guess thinking back over memories and thinking about lost loved ones just has me thinking were things always so bad in other parts of the world when I was younger, or did the adults just shelter us from it. Do people get emotional this time of year for the same reason I do now but grown up the adults in my life didn't let me see. Unfortunately there are people out there that don't have that and I feel lucky I did. I think that why I get emotional. I am also glad I have here to get my feelings out, I am also glad that although I have lost loved ones I still have people I can talk to. I know I have rambled here and it may not have all made sense.

I hope that everyone no matter what your going through if your struggling or your feeling emotional, maybe you could just be remembering those lost loved ones. I hope you know that you can always talk with me, I hope you find a way through any struggles and that you don't suffer in silence. Reach out lets find that safe space, ask for help there is no shame in it, I will even the mightiest warriors experience fears.

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